Setting Yourself Free
Freedom is an inside job.
No one — not even God, Jesus, or Allah — no deity or entity other than You can heal you or set you free.
Even if a jailor opens the door, it is you — your choices, your awareness, your thoughts — that determine how free or imprisoned you are.
Have you ever noticed how sociopaths don’t care what others think or feel, and really spiritually evolved people don’t either? On the surface they look alike, but there is a vast difference between the two.
When I first began this work, I worried about that difference.
For most of my life, my trauma response had been to abandon myself and tune into others — too sensitive, too aware, flooded by their emotions, because that was the only way I knew to survive.
So when I finally stopped absorbing everyone else’s energy, when I felt less overwhelmed, the sensations were so different that I didn’t recognize them as healthy. Feeling less bad felt cold, maybe even unfeeling. My calibration was so off that I thought, “Is this what being a sociopath is?”
I had a grief counselor at the time who helped me sort this out. He said: If you really were a sociopath, you wouldn’t be worried about becoming one. You’d be pleased you weren’t bothered by anyone else’s feelings.
That landed.
What I was actually experiencing was the beginning of freedom. Not being hijacked by other people’s emotions. Not abandoning myself. For someone used to survival mode — always clocking everyone else’s moods to stay safe — this can feel alien, even wrong, at first.
But in truth, it’s a return.
As you heal, you begin to center yourself maybe for the first time. You disrupt the old survival autopilot of fight, flight, fawn, freeze. You begin to trust your own center as Home.
If you’ve been like me — mopping the floor of everyone else’s emotions to secure your safety — eventually you realize you can never truly experience safety if your center is outside yourself.
It may be time to learn the tools and practices that let you come home to your center. To embody You, the spirit. To be safe in yourself.
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